WOW what can I say? I haven't been on in a while, not that I have any readers or anything. This is just a simple way for me to vent without involving family, friends and causing them hurt and or frustration.

I found out that once AGAIN he has been in contact with her, after swearing on EVERYTHING he would not be. After telling me he WANTS me and to be a good man to me and our children she is still in the picture. I was nice before and didn't want to hurt her kids like she hurt mine and didn't invole her family, however I don't think I can hold this in. SHE is NOT the SAINT she has made herself out to be! She sat in my living room about 18 months ago and SWORE she was just his friend and was HAPPY in her marriage and she would never do anything to HURT my family.....WELL that was a complete and total LIE! I have a bad temper and I am shocked I have not hurt her.  Times I want to....like the day I found out.....we were out in public because ME STUPID me was paying for a tire on his DAMN bike AGAIN! I slapped the crap out of him, almost ran him over as I drove away and just melted down.

The day I found out my world was turned upside down. I always felt something wasn't right with them....IT NEVER felt ok for them to be friends......not that she is a hotty or anything at all.  In fact she is about 8 years older then me and I am 5 years younger then him. I am attractive, yes I was over weight but I still have all the things he like....(boobs, Butt, long blonde hair) She has grey hair, short and spikey a flat ass and chest. Just not attractive at all, she chews gum all the time. like the lip smaking crazy way that I hate.

How can this be?? The man who BEGGED me to come back, who promised he would love me forever be a serial cheater? Yes I say serial cheater, because I have found so much more out then I ever wanted to know.  HE has messaged other women since we have been back together (2008) Told them we are just "roommates" and live together to give our kids a better life and make it affordable to live in a nice area! WTH!!! I would gladly move out of this shit town I am trapped in for a better life in the bay area or in another state!!

I feel trapped.....If I leave AGAIN then my kids look down on me AGAIN because he will never take fault in anything....he never admits any wrong doing.
Well two of our three kids know more then he thinks they do....(they are adults  and asked me alot of questions!)