Having another bad bad day. I can't keep the thoughts of his betrayal leave my mind. I hate it. I feel I am unlovable. My fears of abandonment come to my mind over and over again. I must be unworthy of so much for this much pain to be in my life.

 I try to remember all the good times and all the times I felt joy and happiness. However with this dark cloud of him that surrounds me it is hard.

I know I can no longer live there, I can't hardly look at him with out pure distain he has changed me as a person and that is one thing that I swore no one would ever do.