As I bust my ass to help him with a new business I find myself questioning why would I do this FOR him?? I have allowed him to use some of my family recipes to promote a catering/bbq competition business for him and his business partner.....I think the only reason is our oldest son is involved in it and I know he wants this for both of them.
I busted my ass for the past week preparing my homemade sauces for the competition and some homemade mac n cheese for a pot luck before the competition.....why I do and do for someone I feel has ZERO love for me is beyond me! I think about the fact I never knew what a marriage was supposed to look like......my grandparents were not the ideal married couple....they fought all the time, drank way to much and NEVER showed love to each other. Oh and my grandfather was the BIGGEST cheater known! We knew because my grandmother brought it up at every fight they ever had.....always talking about his "whores" it was not a healthy environment for either of us girls! (Maybe this is why my sister is such a mess!) I can say I am better then my grandmother as I can not and will not drag our kids into his fuck ups!
Not sure why I do what I do......maybe I will try this counseling stuff again to try and figure it out!
Have a good Sunday, hope to blog again soon. Been way busy this summer keeping myself busy so I don't have a breakdown.
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